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Written by the lamp of night thoughts

And I must tell you, listen, there is a heart that beats strong and true and guides the soul who speaks as we are, what we feel, expresses life unmediated by custom but pierces the skin like bullets made by God. We are those who share and say and are what we exist as, what is and what will be is, what cannot be changed by the hues of the skies but instead are that which things are by night and darkness and absence. What is positive is felt, what is negative is pacification of the world; we grow from positive pain and piercing poignant sorrow and that gives us the world of positive power, a sense of peace and joy that is so strong it is felt and heard and seen and all other things pale in comparison with it. Schopenhauer is wrong when he says that happiness is negative and sorrow positive. Sorrow and happiness are both positive; it is satisfaction, contentment, life without will or striving or love or passion that is negative. Happiness, richly and constantly new-hued-yet-true-to-its-truth and what it is—this is as positively felt as the stab of loss when we lose something we think we need, something we come to rely on, something we want but cannot ever have, truly.

To have contentment is surely desired; but to feel it is far more desired by me and by us. Do not merely give us happiness and set it on a plate we eat each morning; feed it to us through the dew drops and make us continually find it under the mushroom shadows and in the depths of our souls when we come face to face with that which defines beauty in our souls. That which is our God, our savior, our creator, all that can give us the pacification that allows the sea of joy and exultation to erupt within and splash over the barriers of skin and reconnect us with the angels that we created as something we want to be. We are them and we are all things imagined and we are our wills and desires. Why suppress yourself if you are always going to be what you are? You can become what you want; but only what you want, not what you are told to want or what you think you want. What you truly want is to live by your will and though you may think you are you may not be until you are shining bright and stars burst in your morning alarm clock moments and something stirs within you when you see something that is God on earth because God is on earth he is nowhere else, unless you travel to the stars in your dreams and then God is those stars and God is your dreams.


I've been reading Hesse and Nietzsche and a little Schopenhauer and my soul. Late night soup full of the vegetables of thought I've been consuming and digesting lately, written December 30, 2012.


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